Last year and a half – June 2014 onwards – as I worked to publish my book, I also got time to read some interesting self-help books.
I share one which left an impression on me.
“Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success” by Carol S.Dweck (2007)
As per the author, as life happens around us – we are constantly passing judgement / telling something to ourselves.
This – what we tell ourselves – reflects whether we have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.
Consider this example of Jack and Jill:
Jack has just learned driving. He has his first car accident. Jack tells himself – ‘I will never be able to drive well.’
Here Jack has a fixed mindset: he considers the result as a judgment on himself. As such he is less likely to put in efforts to become a good driver.
Jill too has just learned driving. She has her first car accident. Jill tells herself – ‘I need to be more careful the next time around.’
Jill has a growth mindset: she considers the result as a reflection of the effort she has put in (and not a reflection on herself.). As such, she is more likely to put in efforts going forward, and consequently become a good driver.
As per the author, to be successful in any area – at work, relationship, parenting – life in general – one needs to have a growth mindset.
The author further educates – and this is really insightful – it is perfectly okay to have a growth mindset in one area, and a fixed mindset in another area – as our resources (time, energy) are limited, and so we need to channel it to the things that are the most important to us.
How the book influenced me
The first thing I did after I read the book: I wrote down my fixed beliefs in a diary.
I list some below –
A. I am impulsive, and prone to display of extremes – anger and affection alike.
B. I perform less-than potential in a group discussion. (And so after most group meetings, I end up with feelings like – I should have said this when he said that …)
C. I don’t bargain well. So I always prefer fixed-price shops. (I remember decades back, my brother telling me – whatever the shopkeeper quotes, your first offer should be 50% of what he says. But I could never muster the courage to say that. I feared the shopkeeper would throw me out if I quoted that low a price.)
D. ……. (there were 5 other things I noted down).
After reading this book, I realized, it need not continue like this.
Just questioning my mindset has made be open to putting in more efforts.
I now mentally prepare, visualize all scenarios before I get into these situations.
It isn’t easy. And for sure, I trip every now and then.
But the faith has come in – that if I make conscious efforts on these fixed-held beliefs, the outcomes will be different.
This seems to have suddenly opened up more avenues for me.
What about you?
Are you holding on to any fixed beliefs?
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A Caution Note:
In case you decide to buy this book – and I will say this for any book – read other readers review too on Amazon.com. Especially read 3 star reviews.
A book is a significant investment of time. What I like you may not like and vice versa. So pick a book to your liking.
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Anil Karamchandani is a Mumbai-based former manager.
He is author of ’21 Office Situations & How to Deal with Them’ available on Amazon.in