Surgeon and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Atul Gawande, in his 15-minute TED talk “Want to get great at something? Get a Executive Coach” https://bit.ly/2yEps3B shares how having a coach helped him to get better at work.
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I agree. In the last couple of years, I have had 20+ coaching sessions with my Executive Coach and found them to be immensely helpful.
I have discussed therein my decision-making skills, perfectionism, less-assertive nature, etc.
How it started
For a long time, I have had an inner voice telling me that I don’t act well emotionally; I am impulsive and frequently over-express. Many times the clues came from friends and colleagues.
I wasn’t looking for a Executive Coach, but some years back I came to know of a senior colleague who had moved into Executive Coach. I approached him for advice and he agreed to do a couple of sessions with me. This has since become a regular; I now seek his advice in other areas too.
Finding a coach
I got a coach in my circle. One can use the LinkedIn search feature too to find a coach. Yet another way is by word-of-mouth.
A simple Internet search ‘Executive Coach India’ will also throw up a good list of India-specific coaches and their websites.
A coach can be a mentor at work too, but I think a certification* (explained at the end) helps. One thing that I appreciate in my coach – possibly the essence of coaching – is his non-judgmental and patient nature. This allows me to express my issues in all its complexity, and come up with answers on my own.
Cost
I pay Rs.7000 for an hourly session. Corporate rates I guess are higher – between Rs.12,000 to 25,000/- per session, depending on the seniority of the person being coached and the experience of the coach.
Also, after a number of sessions, I am now on a ‘seek-when-I-require’ arrangement. This helps as there is no pressure to have a set number of sessions in a given period. (In the initial stage, most coaches seek a commitment of 6 – 8 sessions in a fixed time-frame.)
A quick glance of some websites shows that most coaches, apart from listing their expertise and cost, also give a free 30-minute session to help evaluate the fit.
Preparation
I usually devote 1-2 hours in the days leading up to the session, listing the points I want to discuss, the examples I will share, what possible solutions I can think of, and the obstacles I see. I also send a short note to the coach a day before the session – this could be the big point I want to discuss or an update on the previous session.
My coach is in another city, so the sessions are on phone and video.
Initial session
In the initial session, the coach advised me to take some assessments: emotional intelligence, strengths (talents) tests, etc. These tests cost separately. They were not compulsory, but I chose to take my coach’s advice and took the tests.
These tests have helped. For example, my Myers Briggs result shows, I am INTJ – Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judgmental. ‘J’ was a big insight. In the course of debriefing, I learned Judgmental (in my case) stood for my need to achieve closure on issues. In short, I am uncomfortable with ambiguity. Just knowing this has helped; I now ease off when I realise I am trying for certainty in a situation.
Sessions
The sessions are usually an hour long. I do the initial talking – here my notes help to ensure I haven’t missed anything. The coach asks questions which help me to reflect and see other aspects of the situation.
The insights – sometimes during the session, sometimes after the session – have been numerous:
1. On perfectionism: Is it perfectionism, or – put simply – I don’t have anything else to do?
2. On decision-making: Could it be that the decision – in a specific instance – is not mine to make?
3. On low-assertiveness: If out of 10 situations, in 8 situations my low-assertive nature makes people open up and collaborate with me, do I want to change my personality for 2 instances?
And the initial, constant inner voice telling me of my less-than-adequate emotional response, that too has reduced considerably. For the last 3 years, I have been keeping an Improvement Journal at the suggestion of my coach.
In it, I note down my responses to everyday situations – situations that require a degree of emotional intelligence. This has helped me to slow down and take a judicious approach.
A couple of examples from my Journal:
“A business associate didn’t reply to repeated reminders. Took it coolly – must be busy. Didn’t think ill of him. Patiently followed through. The reply came in finally.”
“Refrained from getting deep into B’s job issues. If he specifically asks, will then discuss.”
My only regret: I should have got a coach sooner, especially when I was in middle-management and struggling with an increase in responsibilities.
(To the credit of the then-company, it realised this and did send me for an intensive, week-long group communication workshop. I recall a lot of role-playing there. Now though, I think, a one-to-one with a Coach would have unearthed the issues better, and importantly, ensured follow-through. Behaviour change is difficult for sure.)
Faith
These days, I usually work through my issues in a diary – a, to-and-fro with an imaginary elder. Many times, it works. When it doesn’t, I seek out my coach.
A one-hour session might not feel like it’s producing something tangible, but after so many sessions, I’ve developed faith that a coaching session will help.
P.S.
Coaching Certification
At a global level, the International Coach Federation (ICF) is the largest body of its kind. Coaches certified by it are credentialed as Associate Certified Coach (ACC), Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and Master Certified Coach (MCC).
Apart from ICF, almost all the leaders in the field of personal development (Jack Canfield, Marshall Goldsmith, Tony Robbins, Gallup, and others) have a certification program for coaches.
Most Indian coaches have one (or more) of the above international certifications.