I have a person ‘Mahesh’ with whom I interact for work.

‘Mahesh,’ I realized — after he had worked for me for some time — is a big mouth.

He makes big promises and commitments. But when I put him to it, he comes up short.

Initially, this annoyed me, and I used to pull him up.

Of late though, my frustration with Mahesh has gone.

It struck me — Mahesh is a big mouth, not deliberately, but because he is like that.

It is just his nature.

Once I accepted it, it no longer annoys me.

I now take his big mouth into account and plan my work accordingly.

*****

If you look at people who frustrate you, they are not doing it deliberately.

It is just their personality.

They would be doing the same with other people, and in other situations as well.

Once you accept it, you will no longer find it frustrating.

You might even start to see the wisdom in their nature, of helping you to get another perspective on the issue.

*****

Some of the people who used to frustrate me earlier, but now no longer do so are:

1. A boss who focused on task completion, instead of how well it aligned with long-term goals.

2. A co-worker who had a disagreeable personality. Any time you suggest something, he would object as not feasible or required approval from higher-ups.

3. A team member who made mistakes; didn’t do the necessary due-diligence in his work.

4. A relative who rarely reciprocates kindness or support, no matter how much you did for him.

Now, when I come across these behaviors, they don’t disturb me – I accept them without getting worked up.

I take these in stride and ensure they don’t affect my relationship with them or my focus from getting the job done. 

*****

Next time, you find someone is frustrating you, think about it.

Is it their nature, their personality, or simply their level of skill?

If that is the case, don’t take it as deliberate or directed towards you.

They’re simply expressing their natural tendencies, whether shaped by personality or skill – just as our behaviour reflects our personality and limitations.

Accept it.

The calm you feel will help you to deal with them better, taking their personality and skill level into account.

A Caution Note:

The above excludes people who you find as Manipulative.

With them you have to be extra-careful. You cannot give them the same leeway, as you give others.